|In Touch Magazine Has Teh Stoopid
||[May. 14th, 2009|01:26 pm]
In Touch magazine, which sits right by the front door at Barnes and Noble just released their fully obnoxious "Best Beach Bodies" issue for the summer. In this, they trash female celebrities like Lindsay Lohan for being too thin, Uma Thurman for having naturally sagging boobs, and Kate Hudson for "flaunting" her curves. In other words, if you're a chick, you're pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don't.|
On the dude side of the spectrum, Harry Connick Jr. and Jack Black are poked fun at for their portly physiques, but I guarantee you no one will ever tell either of them that they can't find work until they drop some weight. Hell, look at some of last year's photos of my boyfriend Russell Crowe -- he gained a good thirty or more pounds, and he's still been tapped to play Robin Hood ( a side note, here -- Russell could gain all the weight he wants, he's still on the top of my list, at any size. Mrow.).
The only thing about In Touch that makes me not want to set it on fire is that they named Hugh Jackman as having one of the "best beach bodies" this year. Now, having seen Wolverine once, and planning to lick the cover of the DVD box as many times as I can, I can say without a doubt that this was indeed a wise choice. Note to producers of the next Wolverine movie: we can haz more naked wet claw time, please? But Jackman, like Crowe and all those other guys who get a shitload of money for every movie, can change their appearance all the time and still work. Women who gain weight get stuck as the "funny friend" or the "depressed fat girl" in movies. Just once I'd like to see a movie with Janeane Garafolo or Margaret Cho or Camryn Manheim as the female lead in a film where she ends up with some hottie like Hugh Jackman. Even guys like Jack Black end up with hot chicks in the movies, because we all know skinny girls love funny chunky dudes - why do you think Seth Rogan is getting all Teh Ladiez?