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In Touch Magazine Has Teh Stoopid [May. 14th, 2009|01:26 pm]
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In Touch magazine, which sits right by the front door at Barnes and Noble just released their fully obnoxious "Best Beach Bodies" issue for the summer. In this, they trash female celebrities like Lindsay Lohan for being too thin, Uma Thurman for having naturally sagging boobs, and Kate Hudson for "flaunting" her curves. In other words, if you're a chick, you're pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don't.
 
On the dude side of the spectrum, Harry Connick Jr. and Jack Black are poked fun at for their portly physiques, but I guarantee you no one will ever tell either of them that they can't find work until they drop some weight. Hell, look at some of last year's photos of my boyfriend Russell Crowe -- he gained a good thirty or more pounds, and he's still been tapped to play Robin Hood ( a side note, here -- Russell could gain all the weight he wants, he's still on the top of my list, at any size. Mrow.).

The only thing about In Touch that makes me not want to set it on fire is that they named Hugh Jackman as having one of the "best beach bodies" this year. Now, having seen Wolverine once, and planning to lick the cover of the DVD box as many times as I can, I can say without a doubt that this was indeed a wise choice. Note to producers of the next Wolverine movie: we can haz more naked wet claw time, please? But Jackman, like Crowe and all those other guys who get a shitload of money for every movie, can change their appearance all the time and still work. Women who gain weight get stuck as the "funny friend" or the "depressed fat girl" in movies. Just once I'd like to see a movie with Janeane Garafolo or Margaret Cho or Camryn Manheim as the female lead in a film where she ends up with some hottie like Hugh Jackman. Even guys like Jack Black end up with hot chicks in the movies, because we all know skinny girls love funny chunky dudes - why do you think Seth Rogan is getting all Teh Ladiez?
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Comments:
From: labrys6
2009-05-14 06:38 pm (UTC)

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It IS unfair, isn't it. One side note...the show "The Dollhouse" has my favorite BSG hot dude as an FBI agent who falls for the pretty and unfashionably hefty girl next door. Perhaps a small hopeful note...but then Joss Whedon wrote it, and we know he rocks.

And yes, they better make the Wolverine DVD cover of seriously waterproofed materials. You can keep Crowe (he is on that odd list of guys I don't like for no discernible reason), but Jackman? Oh, can we say Jack of Hearts?!
[User Picture]From: theevilseed
2009-05-14 09:06 pm (UTC)

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*loves Seth Rogen* And I think he looked better before the weight loss. I have to admit I am a bit of a chubby chaser, but I am pretty chubby myself. It is pretty annoying how "ideal" body types are the itty bitty girls, but even when someone achieves that the media pegs them as too skinny. I guess what the real issue is the tabloids care more about making money than ruining lives, of both that of the actors and the people who aspire to be them.
[User Picture]From: sonicwylde
2009-05-14 11:00 pm (UTC)

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Seth Rogen is no longer hot. He is sickly looking and should be forced to get chunky again. He was hotter then, now he just feels like that annoying guy tha tneeds to be smacked.
[User Picture]From: theevilseed
2009-05-15 05:49 pm (UTC)

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have you read any interviews with him about the weight loss? He hates it too, lol, and he said after he's done shooting the movie he got skinny for he might put the weight back on. He feels like a sellout and like he's left all of his chubby man-fans down.